April 6, 2009

Okay. So we had an arrangement there. Or so I hoped. We weren't 'dating' dating but somehow I'd call no one else if I wanted to go out. Neither would he. The outings would more often than not be together.
And well also, we just couldn't keep our hands off each other either. But we preferred not to call it 'dating'. Which was funny. Cuz we WERE(and still are) exclusive. lol!
Though maybe I am still not old enough for a no-strings attached something. It just takes such severe toll on us after whenever we meet up. Which is actually not good. for neither of us..

All I hope for now, is the ability to grow up. and to savour what I have.
Because life is beautiful.

I am light

I feel light. Almost as if i am floating. :)

Now, I hope, I am over him. I hope. :)

Life's beautiful once again. Well. Almost.

Almost.

December 31, 2008

I got it. The hug, I mean. :) and a lot more *wink* *wink*.

The day was beautiful.. absolutely amazing. :) I went out for the whole day with the boy. We had the absolutely amazing time together.

Drove out of the city. Ate good food. went for a walk in the feilds. YUP! :D went in the fields just like those bollywood movie moments. :)

Absolutely wonderfully fantastic day, I had. All thanks to the boy. :)

To cut a long story short.

Here's my life. my dilemma. summarised in a few words.

You already the know about the-ex. We broke up, erm I decided to break up owing to the dead albatross relationship i had with him.

I met the-boy at work. We hit it off. Really really well. We absolutely loved each others' company. Cracked jokes. Were in the same profession. Loved the same things. Well you know about that too!

We dreamt of getting married. of going to europe to work. of having kids together. Then it changed. I was not sure. Maybe I still couldnt forget the-ex. He was still there.Between us. Not at all the times. But yes, he had a presense and it showed. :(

The - ex went away to work. some other country. We wouldn't talk for days at end. i.e. if i wouldn't call, he wouldn't either. Of course, he was always busy. maybe too busy for me. But I didn't want that. I didn't want to be a door mat anymore. I thought to call it quits. He thought that this is yet again one of my threats. which I never would carry out. he was sadly mistaken. This time round. *sigh*

He came to know of my dating the-boy. he went ballistic. He went mad with rage and grief (or so he claimed).
He vowed to bring back the magic. To get me back. proclaiming that I am his. and that I couldn't be with anyone else.

I being the fool that I am, believed him. If only for a moment. But it was enough. For him to sweep me off my feet only to drop me, yet again.

December 30, 2008

I want a hug!

The need for it is realised only when you don't get one!

I so so so want one.

It's been a month now that i have not gotten one ! Imagine a whole goddamned month!

When not half a day went by without one!!!

December 30, 2008

Here's a conversation with the guy who hopes to marry me! Who I once thought was worth my whole life and more! Is it just a bad day.. or is he a no-goer?

11:14 AM

me: hello mister
the-ex: hi

11:15 AM

me: howdy?
the-ex: gud u?

11:16 AM
­
me: cold :D
the-ex: oh oke
me: ok bye

11:18 AM

the-ex: y?
me: because you never talk to me
the-ex: ofcourse i do jus keeping busy these days

11:19 AM

me: ok then. ok bye then
the-ex: can u nt talk properly its just a Q?

11:20 AM

me: i can but you dont talk to me
the-ex: ofcourse i do

11:21 AM

me: no you don't

11:22 AM

me: you never initiate you dont even reply
the-ex: i always do
me: not even a single sentence saying that you are busy

11:23 AM

the-ex: what do i do when i am not on my desk
me: reply when you return, maybe?!

11:24 AM

the-ex: its just 9:55 am and sorry to say but i am not in a mood 2 spoil my mood therefore will catch u later

11:29 AM

me: then i think it is better that you never talk to me. if for you one morning's mood is more important than my state of mind since past one month.

And I logged out.

December 26, 2008

2.46 pm

Hi!
Was going through my earlier posts.. and realised that i am seriously in the habit of using 'more about it later' ! :P :D maybe it is because there are so many things needing to be penned down erm.. typed out!
What a pity that the mind's faster than my hands. and that the clock's hands are faster than mine too! lol! bad one i know.. but, kabhi kabhi can't help it. :D
more later. LOL!

3.14 pm

I have also marked my blog as 'having adult content'! though the only such content it has right now is.. well.. umm.. :P i thought that maybe ..just maybe if in the need of, i might need to put down my secrets of secrets too ! and i don't want the kiddos being subjected to censor-worthy matter! lol!not that i have a life that's been even half so exciting as it sounds.