April 6, 2009

Okay. So we had an arrangement there. Or so I hoped. We weren't 'dating' dating but somehow I'd call no one else if I wanted to go out. Neither would he. The outings would more often than not be together.
And well also, we just couldn't keep our hands off each other either. But we preferred not to call it 'dating'. Which was funny. Cuz we WERE(and still are) exclusive. lol!
Though maybe I am still not old enough for a no-strings attached something. It just takes such severe toll on us after whenever we meet up. Which is actually not good. for neither of us..

All I hope for now, is the ability to grow up. and to savour what I have.
Because life is beautiful.

December 31, 2008

I got it. The hug, I mean. :) and a lot more *wink* *wink*.

The day was beautiful.. absolutely amazing. :) I went out for the whole day with the boy. We had the absolutely amazing time together.

Drove out of the city. Ate good food. went for a walk in the feilds. YUP! :D went in the fields just like those bollywood movie moments. :)

Absolutely wonderfully fantastic day, I had. All thanks to the boy. :)

To cut a long story short.

Here's my life. my dilemma. summarised in a few words.

You already the know about the-ex. We broke up, erm I decided to break up owing to the dead albatross relationship i had with him.

I met the-boy at work. We hit it off. Really really well. We absolutely loved each others' company. Cracked jokes. Were in the same profession. Loved the same things. Well you know about that too!

We dreamt of getting married. of going to europe to work. of having kids together. Then it changed. I was not sure. Maybe I still couldnt forget the-ex. He was still there.Between us. Not at all the times. But yes, he had a presense and it showed. :(

The - ex went away to work. some other country. We wouldn't talk for days at end. i.e. if i wouldn't call, he wouldn't either. Of course, he was always busy. maybe too busy for me. But I didn't want that. I didn't want to be a door mat anymore. I thought to call it quits. He thought that this is yet again one of my threats. which I never would carry out. he was sadly mistaken. This time round. *sigh*

He came to know of my dating the-boy. he went ballistic. He went mad with rage and grief (or so he claimed).
He vowed to bring back the magic. To get me back. proclaiming that I am his. and that I couldn't be with anyone else.

I being the fool that I am, believed him. If only for a moment. But it was enough. For him to sweep me off my feet only to drop me, yet again.

December 30, 2008

I want a hug!

The need for it is realised only when you don't get one!

I so so so want one.

It's been a month now that i have not gotten one ! Imagine a whole goddamned month!

When not half a day went by without one!!!

December 14, 2008

I was sitting and enjoying the music. I knew I'd find him there.How, I don't know. Neither did I know where I'd find him. Nor did I know how I knew i would.

Lovely strings. Beautiful words. Enchanting melodies. And lo and behold! The-boy came and sat right next to me. He didn't know I was there. I didn't know he had come. he just came and sat. :)

December 15, 2008

I've not met the boy for a whole week now. Met as in met. Seen him yesterday. but that was only amongst 450 other people most of who don't and are not supposed to know that we're dating. dating?! well more about our dating scenario later.
Also it just slipped my mind. i saw him for half an hour on tuesday. but most of my time then was lost in trying to find a washroom. and then trying to find an auto. to return. Yup. we've stopped returning home together. as in we've stopped the habit of him dropping me and then returning to his place. and hence need to be in the auto latest by 9. or 9.30 if i can stretch. though things on days have been so bad that i've taken one even at 10.45. And he's let me. sigh. though was it not i who wanted this myself? this state of dispassion? this space?