April 6, 2009

Okay. So we had an arrangement there. Or so I hoped. We weren't 'dating' dating but somehow I'd call no one else if I wanted to go out. Neither would he. The outings would more often than not be together.
And well also, we just couldn't keep our hands off each other either. But we preferred not to call it 'dating'. Which was funny. Cuz we WERE(and still are) exclusive. lol!
Though maybe I am still not old enough for a no-strings attached something. It just takes such severe toll on us after whenever we meet up. Which is actually not good. for neither of us..

All I hope for now, is the ability to grow up. and to savour what I have.
Because life is beautiful.

I am light

I feel light. Almost as if i am floating. :)

Now, I hope, I am over him. I hope. :)

Life's beautiful once again. Well. Almost.

Almost.

Love

Love. what is it? I feel, love is acceptance. acceptance of each other of the shortcomings and the quirks. of the highest order. that is what love is.

It was not easy

I am a wierd person. one who doesn't know what she wants. one who cannot decide for herself. one who is very easily swayed by emotions. by what she is feeling then. the past and more importantly the future doesn't matter. only right now right here matters. *sigh*
This creates problems. big ones.

I fell in love with him (will call him the-ex here on). *sigh* Gives you the idea. Right?
Was only 18 then. Though even then i was quite headstrong and surprisingly knew exactly what i wanted. and who did i want it with.
Things were beautiful things were great. we had different personalities but my love for him was so much, it so didn't make a difference. but then, as very usual and expected, things changed. he moved to a different college for masters. and the distance grew. but what love is if it wanes away with distance?! and what distance is when you are both in the same city?!
there are reasons innumerable. some i understand. some i dont. more on them later.
still we kept dragging. maybe i did. in the hope that it'll get better one day. matbe one day we'd get back what we had lost. then he moved to another country.
and i gathered courage to end it. to be able to accept that we weren't happening anymore. after being with(?!) him for four years and a half, believe you me, it was not easy.

December 16, 2008

Sucha lovely winter morning! :)

Though it would've been wonderful to share this with him but it in retrospect, it is not so bad to be able to enjoy it alone! :)

I guess, it is this constant need for space that actually smothers you in a relationship and makes you want out of it. Once you do have the 'space' you want your better half back! and, this, my dear is the trick of the trade! :P :D And we all need to learn it! :D ;)