December 31, 2008

I got it. The hug, I mean. :) and a lot more *wink* *wink*.

The day was beautiful.. absolutely amazing. :) I went out for the whole day with the boy. We had the absolutely amazing time together.

Drove out of the city. Ate good food. went for a walk in the feilds. YUP! :D went in the fields just like those bollywood movie moments. :)

Absolutely wonderfully fantastic day, I had. All thanks to the boy. :)

December 30, 2008

I want a hug!

The need for it is realised only when you don't get one!

I so so so want one.

It's been a month now that i have not gotten one ! Imagine a whole goddamned month!

When not half a day went by without one!!!

Love

Love. what is it? I feel, love is acceptance. acceptance of each other of the shortcomings and the quirks. of the highest order. that is what love is.

It was not easy

I am a wierd person. one who doesn't know what she wants. one who cannot decide for herself. one who is very easily swayed by emotions. by what she is feeling then. the past and more importantly the future doesn't matter. only right now right here matters. *sigh*
This creates problems. big ones.

I fell in love with him (will call him the-ex here on). *sigh* Gives you the idea. Right?
Was only 18 then. Though even then i was quite headstrong and surprisingly knew exactly what i wanted. and who did i want it with.
Things were beautiful things were great. we had different personalities but my love for him was so much, it so didn't make a difference. but then, as very usual and expected, things changed. he moved to a different college for masters. and the distance grew. but what love is if it wanes away with distance?! and what distance is when you are both in the same city?!
there are reasons innumerable. some i understand. some i dont. more on them later.
still we kept dragging. maybe i did. in the hope that it'll get better one day. matbe one day we'd get back what we had lost. then he moved to another country.
and i gathered courage to end it. to be able to accept that we weren't happening anymore. after being with(?!) him for four years and a half, believe you me, it was not easy.

December 16, 2008

Sucha lovely winter morning! :)

Though it would've been wonderful to share this with him but it in retrospect, it is not so bad to be able to enjoy it alone! :)

I guess, it is this constant need for space that actually smothers you in a relationship and makes you want out of it. Once you do have the 'space' you want your better half back! and, this, my dear is the trick of the trade! :P :D And we all need to learn it! :D ;)

December 14, 2008

I was sitting and enjoying the music. I knew I'd find him there.How, I don't know. Neither did I know where I'd find him. Nor did I know how I knew i would.

Lovely strings. Beautiful words. Enchanting melodies. And lo and behold! The-boy came and sat right next to me. He didn't know I was there. I didn't know he had come. he just came and sat. :)

What is better?

What is better?

Being with some one you love to bits. This someone who is totally your opposite. Your interests don't match.
You love mornings. he loves the night.
Your day doesn't end until you've read. He doesn't last beyond a page.
You like museums. He thrives on pubs.
You like to walk. To talk. Hand in hand. Forever. He'd rather watch television. Together.

more like this. Could go on.

But you love him to bits. These things didn't matter until you broke up. Because it was only then that you saw them! :)

Or

Being with someone who fits to T to the description of the man of your dreams.
you meet at 8. for a date. enjoy the mild sun and the dew.
You read to each other. With each other.
You've runout of your list of museums and art galleries to go to.
You go for walks. And the talks. Hand in hand. Forever.

But, You don't love him.
You like him. Adore if it is what it is. Feel the hots for him. but love? you don't think you do. Or do you?

So, what is better? For you and for him. So how is it supposed to be?