It was not easy

I am a wierd person. one who doesn't know what she wants. one who cannot decide for herself. one who is very easily swayed by emotions. by what she is feeling then. the past and more importantly the future doesn't matter. only right now right here matters. *sigh*
This creates problems. big ones.

I fell in love with him (will call him the-ex here on). *sigh* Gives you the idea. Right?
Was only 18 then. Though even then i was quite headstrong and surprisingly knew exactly what i wanted. and who did i want it with.
Things were beautiful things were great. we had different personalities but my love for him was so much, it so didn't make a difference. but then, as very usual and expected, things changed. he moved to a different college for masters. and the distance grew. but what love is if it wanes away with distance?! and what distance is when you are both in the same city?!
there are reasons innumerable. some i understand. some i dont. more on them later.
still we kept dragging. maybe i did. in the hope that it'll get better one day. matbe one day we'd get back what we had lost. then he moved to another country.
and i gathered courage to end it. to be able to accept that we weren't happening anymore. after being with(?!) him for four years and a half, believe you me, it was not easy.